TIME TO FIGHT BACK!

I am often amazed at how many things in life can be related back to the philosophy taught in karate. As I have talked about in earlier posts, the style of karate I am studying is called Okinawan Goju Ryu. It is a classic form of karate that involves the body and the mind.

One of the primary katas studied in Goju Ryu is called Sanchin. It can be interpreted as three battles: man against nature, man against man, and man against himself. This kata very much relates to some of the issues I have been dealing with for the last month or so.

In my last couple of posts, I talked about the difficulties I have been having in progressing with my challenge of improving my fitness level and in dealing with life in general. I've had a pretty good case of the winter blahs. Well, I am tired of it. It is time to fight back!

I have been doing a job at work that has called for me to spend quite a few very, very cold hours on the roof of the plant. Today I had to go back out again on a record cold day. I was ready. I donned my new winter boots. The best winter work boots I could find, along with layers of good winter clothing and a really good fur-lined hat. After about an hour, I felt sorry for the people working with me who had to keep running back inside to warm up. I have fought off  the cold. (man against nature)

The people who designed the equipment I have been trying to make run properly did not take into consideration our cold Canadian winter climate. I have been working with a couple of other very capable people at the plant to make alterations to the equipment so it will run properly. We have put in place a procedure that will keep everything working properly until a permanent fix is engineered. (man against man)

This week, I along with Sensei Laurie and a number of other students from Sakura Martial Arts Acadamy attended a Gojo Ryu seminar at East Wind Dojo in Ottawa. Kyoshi Frenette was giving the seminar. Kyoshi Frenette is an 8th dan black belt, the highest ranking Goju Ryu practitioner in Canada. A Goju Ryu karate seminar does not require a notebook, a desk, or even a chair. You work out as hard as you have ever worked out. You learn new techniques and new applications for old ones. You work with a Master. You work alongside other karatica. Your comrades and your friends. The workout was so strenuous, I fought the urge to give in with both my body and mind. (man against himself)

Despite all of this and the fact that I lay here in bed typing on my iPad working on beating back the cold and getting healthy, I will beat back the blues, embrace life again, winter or not, and move ahead.

I will meet my personal challenges and win. I am a warrior! Sanchin.

Why Am I Here?

I have asked myself this question a number times. I think I have finally realized what the answer is. My purpose in life was to bring two very special people into this world. My job was to bring them up in a safe and healthy enviroment. To keep them protected from everything out in the big bad world that could harm them.

If I could have, I would have drawn both of them in close me, set up an impenetrable defensive net and kept them protected in every way from the rest of the world. Unfortunately, I realized that this was not part of the bigger plan. They are here for a purpose so the best thing I could do was to do my best to advise and guide them. Even though they are both out on their own, I continue to do this every chance I get. But I also try very hard to do nothing more than guide and suggest. The decision-making is up to them. I just make sure that they know whatever they decide, I will be there to support them any way I can.

Yes, I made mistakes. I was not the perfect father. But, I did the best I knew how.
Yet despite all this, I sit here knowing that I had a part in bringing two very special people into this world. This was the best thing I could have done. I believe they are going to be directly or indirectly involved in something that will have an effect on things everywhere.

Quite a bold statement with out a doubt. But I believe in the Butterfly Effect. Simply put, this means that whatever you do has a ripple affect that could spread across the world. I believe that my contribution has been my two children. So now what is left for me to do?
So, I guess I have done my duty. My kids know that I will always be there for them. It is my job for life and I am grateful to have it. But now it is my turn to find something for myself. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? It seems an almost overwhelming question at times.
I still have a few years to go before I retire so work continues to occupy my days and sometimes my weekends. I have my astronomy that I enjoy playing with but winter makes it too cold to be outside at night for too long. I have been slowly working through minor repairs and renovations on our house and of course I have my karate. What would I do without the dojo?

I know I am suffering a bit from the winter blahs. For me, it is a feeling of being trapped in the house or in the plant. Sometimes, like just this week, I find myself working on the roof of the plant in freezing cold temperatures trying to keep some of our roof-mounted equipment running despite the cold. I have just picked up a pair of safety boots that would keep your feet warm at the North Pole and I have about the best pair of winter coveralls I could find. Oner of our engineers commented to me the other day that I better be careful or I might get all of the roof work. I protested out loud but inside, I thought that would be just fine.
I guess I am just looking for something different to do. I am feeling stuck in a rut and I am suffering from a case of late onset empty nest syndrome. This past summer my daughter was home for most of the summer and we got to spend a fair bit of time with her. Now that she is gone back to school, I am reminded just how much I miss both of them. This, combined with a case of the winter blahs has gotten to me a bit. If it wasn't for karate, I would be having a much worse time of it.

Karate has kept me challenged and looking forward. Challenged by the physical aspect of the training, by the small jobs I have been doing to help around the dojo. Challenged to keep thinking. So, instead of feeling lost, I can stop and look at what is going on and try to do something about it. I have big plans for the spring. All I need is for spring to get here, real, real soon.

For now, I am sitting here at the Fall River Pub, enjoying a glass of beer, waiting for my wife and watching these beautiful, huge, fluffy snowflakes gently floating to the ground.

Curse them all!!

New Years Eve Resolutions

I made a couple of New Years Eve resolutions this year. Basically they added up to continuing on my quest to lose weight and get healthier. I have been working on this for two years now. It has been quite a journey. Still, I need to keep looking for that motivation to continue.

I have days sometimes (like today) where all I want to do is sit down in front of the TV and eat potato chips and Cheezies. Sometimes it's a real struggle not to do just that. I did take advantage of the holiday season a bit and had a more in the way of desserts than I should have. I paid a bit of a price for that but it was worth it. Now I am back on track again.

To get past those days (like today) where I just want to eat, I think of days like yesterday. At karate class, I demonstrated my kata for the class. I was then given some corrections to work on by Sensei Laurie and Sempai Frank. I really like classes like that. Fine-tuning my kata really makes me feel like I am making progress. This is the kind of thing that motivates me to do things like turn down that donut and have an apple instead.

Winter can be difficult for me keep up my exercise routine. I don't know what it is. I just want to curl up in a blanket rather than run for 45 minutes on my treadmill. Doing my workout indoors may well be part of it. I really prefer doing my workout in the outdoors. It feels much more freeing. Sadly, there is not enough snow to cross-country ski yet, and in my area, running on icy, rural back roads could be a big mistake.

I will stick to my New Years Eve resolutions. I am told the best way to keep them is to tell someone what they are, so here they are:

1. Lose 15 more pounds (I like the idea of being able to say I have lost 100 lbs);

2. Stay in karate (an easy one - you've got to have one of those on your list)
3. Be able to do 5 proper chin-ups (I can't really do one yet)
4. Start writing my sci-fi adventure novel.

So, I wait for more snow, I wait for no snow, I wait for longer days and clear roads, but most of all, I do everything I can do to avoid those chips and Cheezies.

Runner's High

As I have been progressing in my physical activity, I have pushed myself just a little bit farther and a little bit harder whenever I can. I don't think I have reached my physical limits yet, but I am searching for that wall.

I have experienced now a couple of times a condition called runner's high. It has been described to me as a state of euphoria that is experienced when a runner breaks through the wall they hit when they reach their perceived limit of physical endurance and ability.

The first time I experienced this, I didn't know it until after my workout was over and I had time to process what had happened. I had reached that wall. My legs hurt, my lungs burned for air, my head felt like a brick. Everything inside me wanted to stop. Almost everything.

There was this voice that kept saying "KEEP GOING! HARDER!" So for the first time I listened. I pushed harder and broke through. In that instant, everything changed. My legs stopped hurting and seemed to take on a life of their own. They moved easily and smoothly. My lungs were full and working with great efficiency. Their capacity seemed limitless. My head cleared and at the same time, my mind became calm. It felt like floating.

I was not expecting this the first time it happened. I knew this was the runner's high that I had heard of. This feeling of being free. What I didn't know at the time was that it would be different the next time it happened, and every time it happened.

Now that I have an idea of what it takes to get there, I have managed to be more aware of it as it happens. It is an extremely difficult place to reach. I have found that conditions need to be just right. I was working out at a YMCA last week a couple of times when we were away visiting relatives over the holidays. I knew because of the distraction all around me, I could never reach this point. I have come extremely close a couple of times at the dojo but not quite broken through.

What I seem to need is the solitude. A place where there are not "too many minds". I have also found that just the right piece of music at just the right time seems to enhance the experience. The piece of music that seems to work for me is a track called Last Stand of the Wild Things from a CD titled Universal Love.

I think because I have reached this point a few times now, I have become aware of its onset and in a way been able to take advantage of it to help me drive on the little bit harder, those few more minutes. I have also found that I have even been able to influence it a bit. This has made the experience that much more intense.

With each experience the feelings seem to deepen. I give myself permission to experience this phenomenon. It becomes an almost trance-like state where there is no pain, and no limits. The closest thing I can compare it to would be a state of transcendental meditation.

A couple of times when I reached this point, it felt like a dream-like state. I envisioned myself running across an endless grassy plain being pursued by a huge lion. The last time, I was no longer running from this lion, I was running with it.

I know this whole thing sound a bit crazy. It is the result of all kinds of different things happening in the body and the mind. A certain mix of stimuli caused by the extreme exertion. Whatever it is, I have found it to be a place where nothing else matters and I am set free. What could be wrong with that?