Christmas 2011

'Tis the season, again. Time to run around from crowded mall to crowded mall. Time to jump in the car and race down the highway, trying to beat the traffic to get to your dinner party. Time to spend money on gifts that you have no real idea as to whether the recipient has or wants. Time to celebrate the season! (if that is what you call Christmas).

If you read my post from last year, you will know that by and large, I am no real fan of Christmas. In my last post, I did say I would try harder to find Christmas, and I have been looking.

We were recently at a friend’s house for a Christmas party. There were lots of people, lots of food, lots of Christmas carolling and lots of fun. There was no pressure, no gifts to buy, no headaches. People just enjoyed each other’s company and having the chance to make new friends and catch up with old friends. That was a great Christmas party! Thank you, Roseanna and Derek.

I guess one of the things that really bugs me about Christmas is the gifts, the money we feel obligated to spend or you’re a Grinch. I think the closest thing I have seen to what I would consider an ideal Christmas is how I see the Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. There is no big need to buy expensive gifts, no panics at the mall, it is just families and friends getting together to share a meal and to be thankful for their many blessings.

Imagine how far it would go if we were to take just one-tenth of the money we spend on gifts and put it toward our favorite charity. A few years ago at Christmas time I set up a weekly donation that I make to a charity. I continue to do this. I felt really good about that. I felt it was a gift that mattered.

I don’t consider myself a Scrooge. I very much enjoy a Christmas party. I also like those little gift exchanges where you can’t spend more that 10 or 15 dollars and the gift is supposed to make the recipient smile or even laugh out loud or a small token to show how much you appreciate someone. You don’t have to go broke doing this. It is even a good feeling.

What about the kids? Christmas is supposed to be for the kids, or so I am told. I don’t argue that at all, but I do suggest that maybe this is where we have laid the groundwork for the money-focused holiday we have now. Yes, I want my kids to have good things, and yes, I did then, and continue now, to spend money on them every Christmas. But I have also tried to share with them my feelings about the commercialism of Christmas.

My daughter is almost finished her post-graduate degree and my son is working hard to advance himself in his career. This take lots of effort, lots of time and lots of money. I have asked both of them not to spend any money at all on Christmas presents for us. We will get together and enjoy the opportunity to spend some time together as a family.

One of the nicest and most thoughtful Christmas gifts I have every gotten was given to me last year by my daughter when she took the time and effort to MAKE me a Christmas card. I keep it on my desk and it makes me feel good every time I look at it. What more could you possibly ask for from a gift?

I don't consider myself a Grinch. I enjoy getting together with friends and family and Christmas can be a great time for that. I just don't think it needs to be based on what you managed to spend money on at the mall, or what someone else has gotten for you. I just think it should be about the time spent together.

So here's hoping you have a safe and happy Christmas!!

Setbacks

For last little while I have been struggling a bit with keeping my momentum. I really  don't know why. I have come so far in the last three years. I have lost almost 100 pounds, I have a resting pulse of 54 and my blood pressure is 96/58. I haven't been this healthy in I don't know how long. But, ever since early fall, I have had to work really hard at continuing to move forward.

This is different for me. I have always seen my role as the cheerleader, helping to motivate people to do something good for themselves. Yet here I am, feeling a lack of motivation. As I have been thinking about it, there have been a number of setbacks. A big one has been my sore knees. I have been fretting about that a fair bit. Have I made the mistake of leaving things for so long that I have done permanent damage to myself? I don't know. Quite frankly, I am a afraid of finding out. The last thing I want to hear is, "You just can't do that anymore." I just started!

Most recently I have been sick. Some kind of cold or sinus thing. Two weeks of dragging myself into work then going home and collapsing. Every morning I have woken up with a migraine that felt like it would kill an elephant. I have drugs for that so I would take them but I couldn't take anything for the sinus thing. It has been awful.

At work, everyone is concerned about their job, about the viability of the plant and the company. You hear things like they want you to bring back any pens and that kind of thing you may have gone home with. They say we need to cut back everywhere. But pens? Are you serious? Do you really want to scare the heck out of people that badly?

And of course, there is Christmas. If you read my blog last year about Christmas, you know what I think about that holiday.

These things one at a time? No problem. I can deal with that. Pile it all on in one very short time and even the cheerleaders can get a bit overwhelmed. So what do I do? How do I get myself back in gear? I need to fix this! I HATE setbacks.

It is my job as I see it to try and encourage people to reach just a bit, to try just a little harder, to just put that next foot forward. Yet here I have been feeling pushed down. I feel almost guilty for it. How can I do my job if I can't do this simple thing for myself? So I need to go back a couple of steps and practice what I preach. One foot in front of the other. Look at what it is that is pulling me back.

Could it have something to do with the change in the weather? Maybe, I'm not sure. The cooler temperatures have made it harder for me to keep up my running. I have been forced to get the house ready for winter. I never have liked this job. It has always felt like I am putting part of myself away for the winter. I love being outside. I aways have. I would so much prefer working out in the back of our property, cutting new trails, cleaning up fallen trees, helping the forest grow. I don't know why. Practically no one else sees it. There is just something about being out there that makes me feel good. So why does this have to stop just because it is getting cooler? It doesn't. I have completed the main path around the outside of our property. We have cross-country skis, we just got snowshoes and I am stronger and healthier. I can get out there and enjoy this kind of activity. I can make use of the paths I have been working so hard on. Winter does not have to stop me anymore.

Work. Mine and my family's financial security. I need my job, just like everybody else. I make fun of it sometimes, I ridicule it other times, but I do need it. I need 5 more years before I can breathe easy about it. Then, I would be thrilled to death to be offered a buyout. But is there anything I can do about the state of the business? Not really. I can do my job to the best of my ability, I can take some pens back in, I can encourage the people I work with. Past that, not much else I can do. If I stop and think about it, that is something. Maybe not a huge thing in the overall picture, but who says it won't help? Not me.

My knees. Now this is a big one for me. I need to find out what is going on here. I need to get things working properly. But, should this stop me from continuing on my fitness program? No, of course not. I can work so hard at karate, to the point that I almost drop and that doesn't bother my knees so much. I can do my weight training without stressing my knees, there are all kinds of things I can do. But I really want to be able to do all of this and to run as well. Still scared about it, but I have find out what needs to be done.

Christmas. Well, I can't very well stop it from happening. It looks like this year is going to involve the usual running around, spending too much money and eating too much. So what can I do about that? Well maybe I can share more about how I would like to see Christmas spent. Do we really need to spend all that money? Do we really need to eat that much? Do we really need an excuse to get together with friends and family? No. Maybe I will try to express that a bit by just showing how happy it can make us just to get together and share the day.

Sickness. Not much to do there. Except maybe be a little more careful about some of the basics like washing my hands more often, using hand sanitizer. I think I let my guard down a bit on this front. I haven't really been sick like this ever since I started my health kick. I think maybe I got the mentality of, "It can't happen to me. It happens to the other guy, not me." Well I was wrong, big time. It can happen to anyone. I know I make a very bad sick person. My wife can vouch for that. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.

Looking back on all of this, there is nothing here that can't be dealt with. I just need to do it. This is one of the reasons I blog. It is kind of therapy for me. Just break it down, take it apart and find out what needs to be done to fix it. I do the same thing at my job every day. I fix things. Now, I need to apply that to me and get going again. Make my adjustments if needed but just get going. Today I did my first run in almost two weeks! It felt good. Step number one.