Honour

I have been involved in karate at Sukura Martial Arts Academy for just about ten months now. At my last training night, Sensei Laurie invited me and a number of other students to grade. I felt extremely honoured to be asked. I have to also admit to a bit of pride. This started me thinking, just what does honour mean? I have always felt that honour is a guiding principle in my life but what does this word mean in today's society? Do we really know?

These days, with influences of Hollywood, comic books and other media forms, I believe we have lost the true meaning of the word. Today, all too often, people believe revenge is honour. The fact is that revenge is about as far away from honour as you can get.

When you look up the meaning of the word, even some dictionaries aren't clear. You find things like: The state of being honoured; the quality of being honourable. What does that mean???

This word has been badly used and abused. People have been lead to war and much worse in the name of honour. Sometime people will follow leaders that they believe are honourable but are after nothing more than power over their fellow man. Be sure you understand what you are being lead into before you follow.

Sometimes, if you pay attention to your own feelings, you will know almost instantly if the person you are talking to is honourable. They will give you a feeling of trust and peace. Remember, an honourable person is not out to hurt. Revenge or vengeance is not the way of honour.

In my efforts to learn more about Martial Arts in the present day of and its origins, I have been reading a book called Living The Martial Way by Dr. Forrest Morgan. I have been very impressed with the entire book but I did find particularly interesting, his views on honour. I looked up Dr. Morgan's bio from his current employer to see what it was that gave him this kind of instight. I was very impressed. This is an excerpt from his biography:

Forrest Morgan is a senior political scientist working in RAND Corporation. Prior to joining RAND in January 2003, Dr. Morgan served a 27-year career in the U.S. Air Force. Since coming to RAND, Dr. Morgan has done strategy and doctrine research examining such issues as assessing performance of the Air Force and Army in Operation Iraqi Freedom.

As you can tell, Dr. Morgan has quite a bit of experience with military-related issues. Now granted, his book Living The Martial Way may seem overly military from first read, but give it a chance to sink in and look at how it actually does apply to real life. This book, I believe, will give you a real look at what honour means along with a very interesting view into the Martial Arts.

To me, honour is being honest, trustworthy and dependable. An honourable person is not someone who will look for vengence but will believe in the law. A person who knows compasion and understanding. A person who can be trusted and will live up to that trust. An honorable person is lead by a deep sense of decency and morality.

There will always be those in power who know how to use and pervert honour like Russell Williams, so don't be fooled. This was a man people looked up to for guidance and leadership, yet look at what he actually turned out to be. Williams was a Colonel in the Canadian Armed Forces and Commander of CFB Trenton. Understand what honour is for yourself. Then add it to your own life.

Just imagine what a different place the world would be today if people understood the true meaning of honour.

For My Mother

I was going through some of my old documents trying to make room on my computer when I cam across this story I wrote about my Mother very shortly after she passed away. She was an amazing woman who inspired everyone she came in contact with.

I have often heard people talk about how things were not that great when they were growing up. They talk about a lack of communication with their parents and even with their siblings. When my Mother died, one of the most common things I heard was, what would you have said to your Mother or Father if you had had the time. Or, I never was understood by them so they never really got what I was about anyway.

I never felt this myself. When we needed to talk, we did. She always listened to what I had to say and I always felt heard. I grew up thinking that this was what everyone had. When I realized that this was not the case, I felt very sorry for those who had not experienced this.

In our family, Family came FIRST and Family is everything. The key word here of course is Family. Who do you consider this to be? It is not just blood. Look around and consider what Family means. Anyway, here is the story I was telling you about before I got off track.

For My Mother

It was not that long ago that my mother gave me a sweatshirt as a gift. I don’t really remember just what the occasion was and it doesn’t really matter.

When I first looked at it, I thought, that’s not really my colour but because it from my Mother, I immediately put it on anyway. I distinctly remember my first thought upon donning the sweatshirt. "This feels so nice and warm." That night I took the sweatshirt off, looked at it and thought, "This is not really my colour." I put it away and forgot about it for next month or so.

It was winter and a very cold night. I was going through my dresser looking for something warm to put on when I came across this sweatshirt. I looked at it and thought, "That’s not really my colour." It was cold, I was at home and I wanted something warm so I thought, who cares, and I pulled the sweatshirt on over my head. As soon as it settled into place my first thought was, "This feels so nice and warm." It was like my Mother had reached out to embrace me and keep me warm and safe. At that moment I thought of my Mother and how much I missed her so I picked up the phone and gave her a call. This was nothing unusual for me. I would call about every two weeks to chat with both Mom and Dad. If I left it for any longer, my Mother would call me. It always made me feel good to hear their voices. A few years have passed since I got that sweatshirt. I love it very much and wear it often.

This past September my Mother passed away. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and how much I love her. Whenever I feel the need to have my Mom’s embracing arms around me, I put on my sweatshirt. It gets worn quite a lot. One day the sweatshirt will fade and wear out but the love I have for her and the love I knew she had for me and all of her family will never fade away.

I miss you Mom and I love you with all my heart.

Your Son.

Demand More of Yourself

For the past few weeks I have felt like things, and I mean everything, have been a struggle to get through. I have had trouble at work with some big and repeated breakdowns, I managed to hurt my hand just before going to a karate tournament called a Gasshuku, I have fallen behind on getting things ready for winter around the house and my primary telescope broke down. This is just the short list. I was getting to the point where I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and frustrated because I have not felt like I have been able to get on top of things.

As well I have been thinking quite a bit about my Mother. It is just past the anniversary of her passing away. My Mother was a real source of strength to me and a true inspiration.

Then, during last week's karate class, Sensei Laurie talked about the Gasshuku and about the effort that is required for this kind of thing and for many things in life. I had never really thought about it before joining the Karateka, but there is so much training to it. Not just for the body but also for the mind. To have one without the other still adds up to nothing. The quote or phrase Sensei talked about was, “If you demand more from yourself, expect more in return.” She asked us to consider just how encompassing a statement like this is and what it means to us. Not just in karate, but in life. As I interpret this, this applies not just to doing the physical part of the training but to engaging yourself totally in it. Focus your efforts on everything you do and commit to doing your best. Your efforts will pay you back in ways you will see right away and in ways you will not immediately see.

So, with this in mind, I have endeavoured to put my worries into perspective and committed myself to moving ahead. There will still be obstacles to overcome, my hand is still injured, things will continue to break, the house still needs work and I still very much miss my Mother, BUT, life must go forward and we must commit ourselves to it.

This means maintaining focus. To me, it also means not being blind to what is going on around you. Just because it seems bad at the time, use it and learn from it. Learn from others who offer their help and PRACTICE.

First Posting

It has been a few years now since my kids have moved out on their own. Life became much quieter. I decided it was time for some changes. Some people call this a Mid Life Crisis. I would have to call it something like a New Life Beginning.

I initially wrote this in February 2009.

I love both my kids and I am very proud of them. They are both doing well and we have a close relationship. As a parent, it was my job to bring these guys into this world and get them started. Now, with this underway, it is time for me to do something for me.

One of the first things I decided to do was to get myself in shape. The following is that journey.

I started this blog with a bit of a different purpose. I have been working very hard at getting in better shape and losing weight. For a year I have worked very hard at this and met, then surpassed, my goals. I lost 80 pounds and felt tremendously better for it. Now what??

I still had more weight I wanted to lose but I felt I needed some kind of direction or sense of purpose in what I was doing. The thought of joining a gym did nothing for me. Over the course of the last year I had equipped a workout room in our house with some very good equipment. I didn’t need or want to join a fitness club. I needed something else. I really liked the idea of learning how to use ancient weapons such as Japanese Kendo but there was just nothing in my area. Next I looked at boxing but I just didn’t want to actually have to try to beat someone up, or worse, get beaten up. Next, I thought about martial arts. This seemed like it might be a possibility if it wasn’t like boxing. So the search was on.

In the small town area I live in, I wasn’t sure what I was going to be able to find and initially, I couldn’t find anything. Then one day on my way home from work I noticed an insignia in the upper floor window of a building I drove by every working day. There it was, Sakura Martial Arts Academy.

I got the phone number and called and talked to the head instructor, Laurie Winter, (not Sensei at this time) a couple of times. I think she could tell I was very reluctant to try this but she gently encouraged me to come in and just give a try a couple of times with no obligation to go any further. So I thought, why not.

When I showed up my first night I had no idea what I was doing. I managed to make it through the first class, barely. I felt so out of place. Here were all these people moving with such grace and speed, dressed in their white uniforms, and here I was. I felt like such an uncoordinated klutz dressed in my sweat pants and t-shirt.  When I left, I could hardly walk down the stairs. I thought as I was making my way to my car, “well, that sure made me feel stupid and weak."  And then much to my own amazement, I went back again two nights later. I was still quite sore from the first night but there was something that happened there that first night that I just couldn’t quite put my finger on so I had to go back.

Again, there I was, dressed in my sweats and t-shirt trying to follow along. I still felt felt like a bit of a fool but I began to notice something. Even though everyone else there had much more experience that I did (and were dressed better), I noticed that no one was bothered with my slow pace or inability to follow perfectly along with this Asian form of line dancing. If fact, I noticed that everyone there was very encouraging.  Everyone wanted to help. The instructor showed so much patience with me. She would work right with me, making sure I understood and could see all of these intricate moves. Then at the end of the class, a brown belt came up to me and asked if I had a couple of minutes so he could help me with this first dance I was trying to follow. He told me to take my time, move slowly and just work on the first three moves. That was all I had to do. So I spent about half an hour after class doing this. The head instructor also joined in after she had said a few words with every other student there.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was being welcomed into this group of people. They were all so welcoming. No one gave me a feeling that I was interfering with their training. This was not what I expected.

To date, I have been attending for about two months. I still feel like a bit of a spaz but I am not afraid of feeling that way. It is only saying to me now that I have lots to learn and these people want to help me learn.  Sensei Laurie is a true inspiration to all of her students.

I have watched her work with black belt students at speeds I didn’t think the human body could achieve and in the very next step work with a little 6 year old girl showing tremendous patience and care. I am so impressed with the talents and devotion of Sensei Laurie. It was just a couple of years ago she was involved in a very serious car accident. She suffered some injuries that would have stopped many people from continuing in such a sport. But she stuck to her beliefs, fought an unbelievable fight and her she is, my Sensei.

I feel very fortunate to have seen that window on my way home that day. Why I just happened to look up at that time to see it, who knows? I think I do. Now here I am, wearing my Gi and a belt representing purity and humility. I am about to go through my first grading. I was so pleased when Sensei told me I would be grading for my first stripe. I will not let her down. I have become a devoted student and I work very hard at increasing my knowledge and skills. Maybe one day I can help train some other newcomer like myself. I look forward to the opportunity.

As I sat in class one night, we were talking about some of the fundamentals of the Goju-Ryu Karate and I could easily see how it could inspire mind and body. With this in mind, I started this blog.