TIME

One of my least liked terms has to do with time. Time is precious. It only happens once and that's it. You can't get it back and you can't change it. So when someone says to me "make the time" I just want to scream! It is not possible.  Yes, we need to make the best use of the time we have but that is it. Nothing left to do. The time has passed. If only I could 'make time' or go back and change time. Man, the things I would do differently and things I would have time to do in the first place that I just couldn't find the for. But alas, this can not be done. (At least not in our time). 

Time and experience are the greatest teachers. Hopefully, we have learned by what we have done in the past. If you could go back and redo something you had done wrong, you then loose the lesson you learned from the experience and quite probably end up doing that wrong thing anyway. Now wasn't that a waste of time.

The challenge is to make the best of the time we have. How do you do that? We don't have a crystal ball to look into future to show us what the best way is. We just have to make the best choices we can and deal with it. No we can't make time, we can't go back and change time, we can't even slow it down. Time is time.

We do tend to measure so many things by time. For someone like myself, a person very time aware, the clock measures life it self. Weather we are successful or not all boils down to time, or maybe not.

I have been trying to free myself a bit from that yoke I wear on my wrist. I have taken it off, even at work. About the only time I have a watch on anymore is when I am running. Maybe that is a mistake as well.

Recently I participated in my first running race of the season. The running club I belong to put it on. It was a 5K prediction race. You won by being the closest to your predicted time for the race. You were not allowed to carry a watch. I put in an estimated time for myself of 31:15.

Come race day, I had decided that I wasn't really going to worry about the time. I am the photographer for our running club so I decided that I was going to concentrate on getting photos and video clips during the race while participating in it. I stopped a number of times, I spent time running backwards, I slowed a certain points to get what looked like good shots. I didn't really worry about making time until the last 1.5K. At that point I thought I should get a little more into the race part and start running.

When I crossed the finish line I was very surprised to see that my time was 30:33! This is actually my best time for 5K so far this year. How the heck did that happen?? Maybe I should leave the watch behind more often. Don't know if I can go that far.

I have decided that time is what we make of it. Sometimes we need to be aware of it. People may be counting on you being somewhere at a specific time or having something ready to go at a set time. But maybe, just sometimes, it doesn't matter. Time will happen no mater what we do. And maybe sometimes we just need to let it happen and let the chips fall where they may.

Milestones, Reflections & Resolutions

This  year has had a bit of a rough start. I set a few resolutions that I am going to keep but first I have to make some changes.

So far this year I have been running along on the edge of overload. I think what has been happening is that I had such a good year last year and was so pleased about what I had accomplished that I have piled it on a little too deep at the start of this year. There is much that I want to do but only so much time. It is time to make some tough choices and make sure what is in my plan is achievable. I want to challenge myself but it needs to make sense.

Karate is my primary focus for health and fitness. I found that through the end of last year and the start of this year, I have been so busy that I have not been allocating the proper time to practice. This needs to change. To help facilitate this, I have made a couple of small changes to the home dojo. I sold my old Bowflex. It is a great machine but my training needs are getting more focused and the Bowflex did not fit in as well as it used to, plus it requires quite a bit of room. Next, I purchased a free-standing heavy bag. This has worked out very nicely so far. There are a lot of techniques I can work on with the heavy bag.

Iaido is something that I have had to cut way back on. I have felt very guilty about this. I really enjoy this form of martial arts. Something about swinging around a big sword that gives you a real feeling of empowerment. It is not my intent to quit Iaido altogether but it will be relegated to the occasion of when I have time and I am not going to feel guilty about it.

Back in May of 2011 I got fairly serious about my running and started to log my runs. I set a goal of logging 1,000 kilometers before the end of the year. By the end of December I had logged 1,017 kilometers.

Running has become a very big thing to me. I have found that the added fitness I get from my running has helped me feel more balanced (literally) in my karate and, sometimes at the end of a hard day at work, it just feels good to come home, pull on the running shoes and go out and beat the pavement.

I have some serious goals to achieve in my running. I feel healthy now. I think I have a handle on the knee issues I have been dealing with and I have pretty much recovered from a number of small injuries. I have set up a schedule to get me to my goal. It is workable and will be stuck to.

I have not been doing as much blogging as I would like to. Blogging seems to have a way of helping me see through the things that are sometimes a bit cloudy. When I write it down, it comes clearer. It seems to be kind of therapeutic, so it only make sense to keep doing it.

Work has gotten really busy these days. It is not uncommon these days to get a phone call from work with them looking for me to come in and help them out or to fix something that I am very knowledgeable about. It had gotten to the point that I was feeling a bit resentful towards work for stealing my personal time. Work was just getting in the way of life.

Well, the truth is, work makes a lot of things I do in my life possible. I can afford to keep myself in good running shoes, I can purchase a good practice sword and I can wear a good quality gi. My wife and I have taken a number of month-long holidays touring Canada on our Gold Wing motorcycle. Tough to do these kinds of things without a good job. So, the truth of is, it is a good thing we are busy at work. The plant is doing well and I am secure in my job. Not much there to complain about.

My 55th birthday was this past October. Not a bad day at all. Did a 20K run that day. Felt pretty good to be this age and in the kind of condition I am now in. Birthdays aren’t such a scary thing. In the past, this was a signpost telling me I was not just getting older but getting slower and in worse health. I was having trouble just getting out of bed in the mornings. Especially on work days. These days, things are better. I have no more issues with birthdays. I have finally managed to just accept them as part of the process of being here. I want more, many more, so let's just work at that.

Reflections

A new year often means stopping to look back at the years that have gone by. For me this year, I am looking back through the three years I have been on my health and fitness journey. Sometimes I have a hard time seeing some of the changes I have made for myself. I have heard about people sometimes distorting their own self image. Blocking out the bad and seeing what they want to see. This was clearly the case for me. There have been times when I have said that I don't see myself any differently and I feel pretty much the same. Sara helped me with that by suggesting I go back through some of my older photos. I did this and it was a real eye opener! Truth is, I feel great.

2012

A new year and another step forward. At least that is the plan. We did something totally different for New Years Eve this year. It is called a Resolution Run. Along with making a few new resolutions for the year 2012 to emphasize our new way of life, we were out on the road RUNNING. It was just a 5K run but there we were, as the clocked ticked over to 2012, we were out there running in the new year.

Resolutions

It wasn't that many years ago that I made the ultimate cop-out resolution. That was to never make any more resolutions. Thank goodness I woke up and broke that one. Now I make a couple of resolutions every New Years Eve and then I do my best to live up to them. I have found that the trick to it is to challenge myself but to be realistic and set goals that are achievable. So what's on the list for this year?

Lose that last 10 pounds that I have been trying to ignore but just won't go away by itself.

Get into good enough shape to run a full marathon and then just do it. My target for this is some time in late August or September. I am hopeful that I will have my issues with my knees resolved by then.

Run two half marathons. I am starting my training for my first half marathon in May at the Ottawa Race Weekend. My second will be the Ottawa Army Run. This was my first half marathon run. I feel committed to this run because of what it stands for. I am very proud to be part of this and to know I am doing something to help our Armed Forces.

Earn my blue belt in karate. This is always a challenge. The farther up you get, the tougher it becomes and the harder you have to work at it. This means a lot to me. To continue to improve and advance in art is my first and primary passion when it comes to my fitness plan.

I think for 2012, that's a pretty good list. I have a number of other things I would like to achieve such as getting more work done toward remodeling the inside of our house and adding to the trails that I have been cutting on the property but I don't really think these things classify as resolutions. They're just targets or things I would like to continue to make progress on. Still, it does mean not standing still or getting attached to the couch for long periods of time. It just means getting out there and moving. Being part of life instead of being little more than an observer.

So here we go! Welcome to 2012!

3 years ago

Now

Christmas 2011

'Tis the season, again. Time to run around from crowded mall to crowded mall. Time to jump in the car and race down the highway, trying to beat the traffic to get to your dinner party. Time to spend money on gifts that you have no real idea as to whether the recipient has or wants. Time to celebrate the season! (if that is what you call Christmas).

If you read my post from last year, you will know that by and large, I am no real fan of Christmas. In my last post, I did say I would try harder to find Christmas, and I have been looking.

We were recently at a friend’s house for a Christmas party. There were lots of people, lots of food, lots of Christmas carolling and lots of fun. There was no pressure, no gifts to buy, no headaches. People just enjoyed each other’s company and having the chance to make new friends and catch up with old friends. That was a great Christmas party! Thank you, Roseanna and Derek.

I guess one of the things that really bugs me about Christmas is the gifts, the money we feel obligated to spend or you’re a Grinch. I think the closest thing I have seen to what I would consider an ideal Christmas is how I see the Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. There is no big need to buy expensive gifts, no panics at the mall, it is just families and friends getting together to share a meal and to be thankful for their many blessings.

Imagine how far it would go if we were to take just one-tenth of the money we spend on gifts and put it toward our favorite charity. A few years ago at Christmas time I set up a weekly donation that I make to a charity. I continue to do this. I felt really good about that. I felt it was a gift that mattered.

I don’t consider myself a Scrooge. I very much enjoy a Christmas party. I also like those little gift exchanges where you can’t spend more that 10 or 15 dollars and the gift is supposed to make the recipient smile or even laugh out loud or a small token to show how much you appreciate someone. You don’t have to go broke doing this. It is even a good feeling.

What about the kids? Christmas is supposed to be for the kids, or so I am told. I don’t argue that at all, but I do suggest that maybe this is where we have laid the groundwork for the money-focused holiday we have now. Yes, I want my kids to have good things, and yes, I did then, and continue now, to spend money on them every Christmas. But I have also tried to share with them my feelings about the commercialism of Christmas.

My daughter is almost finished her post-graduate degree and my son is working hard to advance himself in his career. This take lots of effort, lots of time and lots of money. I have asked both of them not to spend any money at all on Christmas presents for us. We will get together and enjoy the opportunity to spend some time together as a family.

One of the nicest and most thoughtful Christmas gifts I have every gotten was given to me last year by my daughter when she took the time and effort to MAKE me a Christmas card. I keep it on my desk and it makes me feel good every time I look at it. What more could you possibly ask for from a gift?

I don't consider myself a Grinch. I enjoy getting together with friends and family and Christmas can be a great time for that. I just don't think it needs to be based on what you managed to spend money on at the mall, or what someone else has gotten for you. I just think it should be about the time spent together.

So here's hoping you have a safe and happy Christmas!!

Setbacks

For last little while I have been struggling a bit with keeping my momentum. I really  don't know why. I have come so far in the last three years. I have lost almost 100 pounds, I have a resting pulse of 54 and my blood pressure is 96/58. I haven't been this healthy in I don't know how long. But, ever since early fall, I have had to work really hard at continuing to move forward.

This is different for me. I have always seen my role as the cheerleader, helping to motivate people to do something good for themselves. Yet here I am, feeling a lack of motivation. As I have been thinking about it, there have been a number of setbacks. A big one has been my sore knees. I have been fretting about that a fair bit. Have I made the mistake of leaving things for so long that I have done permanent damage to myself? I don't know. Quite frankly, I am a afraid of finding out. The last thing I want to hear is, "You just can't do that anymore." I just started!

Most recently I have been sick. Some kind of cold or sinus thing. Two weeks of dragging myself into work then going home and collapsing. Every morning I have woken up with a migraine that felt like it would kill an elephant. I have drugs for that so I would take them but I couldn't take anything for the sinus thing. It has been awful.

At work, everyone is concerned about their job, about the viability of the plant and the company. You hear things like they want you to bring back any pens and that kind of thing you may have gone home with. They say we need to cut back everywhere. But pens? Are you serious? Do you really want to scare the heck out of people that badly?

And of course, there is Christmas. If you read my blog last year about Christmas, you know what I think about that holiday.

These things one at a time? No problem. I can deal with that. Pile it all on in one very short time and even the cheerleaders can get a bit overwhelmed. So what do I do? How do I get myself back in gear? I need to fix this! I HATE setbacks.

It is my job as I see it to try and encourage people to reach just a bit, to try just a little harder, to just put that next foot forward. Yet here I have been feeling pushed down. I feel almost guilty for it. How can I do my job if I can't do this simple thing for myself? So I need to go back a couple of steps and practice what I preach. One foot in front of the other. Look at what it is that is pulling me back.

Could it have something to do with the change in the weather? Maybe, I'm not sure. The cooler temperatures have made it harder for me to keep up my running. I have been forced to get the house ready for winter. I never have liked this job. It has always felt like I am putting part of myself away for the winter. I love being outside. I aways have. I would so much prefer working out in the back of our property, cutting new trails, cleaning up fallen trees, helping the forest grow. I don't know why. Practically no one else sees it. There is just something about being out there that makes me feel good. So why does this have to stop just because it is getting cooler? It doesn't. I have completed the main path around the outside of our property. We have cross-country skis, we just got snowshoes and I am stronger and healthier. I can get out there and enjoy this kind of activity. I can make use of the paths I have been working so hard on. Winter does not have to stop me anymore.

Work. Mine and my family's financial security. I need my job, just like everybody else. I make fun of it sometimes, I ridicule it other times, but I do need it. I need 5 more years before I can breathe easy about it. Then, I would be thrilled to death to be offered a buyout. But is there anything I can do about the state of the business? Not really. I can do my job to the best of my ability, I can take some pens back in, I can encourage the people I work with. Past that, not much else I can do. If I stop and think about it, that is something. Maybe not a huge thing in the overall picture, but who says it won't help? Not me.

My knees. Now this is a big one for me. I need to find out what is going on here. I need to get things working properly. But, should this stop me from continuing on my fitness program? No, of course not. I can work so hard at karate, to the point that I almost drop and that doesn't bother my knees so much. I can do my weight training without stressing my knees, there are all kinds of things I can do. But I really want to be able to do all of this and to run as well. Still scared about it, but I have find out what needs to be done.

Christmas. Well, I can't very well stop it from happening. It looks like this year is going to involve the usual running around, spending too much money and eating too much. So what can I do about that? Well maybe I can share more about how I would like to see Christmas spent. Do we really need to spend all that money? Do we really need to eat that much? Do we really need an excuse to get together with friends and family? No. Maybe I will try to express that a bit by just showing how happy it can make us just to get together and share the day.

Sickness. Not much to do there. Except maybe be a little more careful about some of the basics like washing my hands more often, using hand sanitizer. I think I let my guard down a bit on this front. I haven't really been sick like this ever since I started my health kick. I think maybe I got the mentality of, "It can't happen to me. It happens to the other guy, not me." Well I was wrong, big time. It can happen to anyone. I know I make a very bad sick person. My wife can vouch for that. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.

Looking back on all of this, there is nothing here that can't be dealt with. I just need to do it. This is one of the reasons I blog. It is kind of therapy for me. Just break it down, take it apart and find out what needs to be done to fix it. I do the same thing at my job every day. I fix things. Now, I need to apply that to me and get going again. Make my adjustments if needed but just get going. Today I did my first run in almost two weeks! It felt good. Step number one.

What's Next

It has been three weeks now since my first half marathon in the Ottawa Army Run. Because I put everything I had into completing that run, I have been dealing with injuries (again). I read that I should expect about a three week recovery period from a half marathon. It has been a long three weeks but I am finally getting back out there and starting to build up my long runs again. I got out to 12K today.

Now that I am running again, I have been planning for my next big race. My plan is to do the half marathon in May at the Ottawa Race Weekend, the 8K Perth Kilt Run in June, the 15K Glen Tay Block race in August, the half marathon Ottawa Army Run in September along with a number of other 5K races. I am also hoping to be ready for a full marathon at some point next year. I haven't really figured out just what race that will be.

As look over this list, at least to me, it looks like a pretty ambitious plan. But the reality of it is I have about six months of training before the Ottawa Race Weekend. (I am even playing with the idea of doing the full marathon then.) This should be lots of time to bring my training along and get myself into a better condition. I hope to cut way down on the number of injuries I have been dealing with this year.

Being forced to slow down has given me the opportunity to look at running from a different perspective. So far for me, running has been a battle, maybe even more like a war. Every time I have gone out for a run, even on what is supposed to be my gentle runs, I have focused only on the running and on myself. I am either concentrating on trying to improve my form or I am battling with my electronic running partner on my Garmin Forerunner. I am not saying that this is bad. For me, I need this. It’s all part of the challenge. To strive to get better. But I keep reading about another side of running.

This is when people go out just for the pleasure of it. Just to be out in the great outdoors and enjoy the day and their surroundings. I have tried this a couple of times but I have always very quickly slipped back into warrior mode. I just couldn’t relax into the idea of running for pleasure. The whole thing seems kind of weird to me anyway. Now however, I have once again been forced to scale back. My challenge is to not push too hard.

I think because I’m so late in life getting into a fitness frame of mind, I’ve been trying to make up for lost time. This feeling of being late is always in the back of my mind. This also goes not just for my running but my karate as well. One of the things I hear fairly often is that I need to relax, move more smoothly and breathe.

On my last 12K run, I decided that this was what I was going to do. I could only run for a half kilometer and then walk the next half during this run, so why not just try and relax into it and be more aware of my surroundings. Give the warrior a day off.

I started off fairly early in the morning. I had my iPod set to play a collection of soothing New Age type of music. The morning air was cool. The sun was up but the shadows were still long. As I started down the gravel road it wasn’t long until I found myself slipping into that warrior mode. I needed to change things up a bit more so I turned off the music. Now, all I could hear was the crunch of the gravel under my shoes. I listened to this for a bit and then I noticed the songbirds singing away. The whole thing was starting to feel quite pleasant.

The timer on my Garmin went off telling me it was time for my next running interval. I had to struggle a bit with the warrior again, trying not to lose that bit of peacefulness I was just starting to feel. I came down hill and made my turn onto the paved road. The sun was still partly below the tree tops and the road was still damp from the morning dew. It looked like a long, twisting black ribbon stretching out across the countryside. The sun would wink through the gaps in the trees as I progressed down the road. As I looked up the road, I could see a deer casually crossing from one side to the other. It stopped for moment to watch my approach and then continued on its way. The whole thing seemed like it was out of a painting. I really did begin to feel a bit more comfortable with just being out there. No racing, nothing to prove, just enjoying the day. How foreign that was.

Yes, I am late to realizing the benefits of a healthier lifestyle. Yes, I am a bit driven because of this. And yes, I do need to sometimes slow down in order to realize all of the benefits of this new way of living. And I think I can do it. Or at least I think I have an idea as to how to do it.

But right now, I have a heavy bag I need to see if I can kick a hole in and a race to train for!

The Ottawa Army Run

Well I did it! I can hardly believe I got through it. It was an incredible experience both physically and mentally. Sitting here now, back at home, I realize just how emotional the whole thing was for me. The are a number of very different but all very important feelings and experiences I have come away with.

First, let me tell you a bit about my experience with the race itself. Me standing there looking around, in among 7,000 plus runners. That in itself felt quite unreal. When the howitzer went off (and I mean a HOWITZER) I could see the start of the line begin to move out. It took what seemed like an hour before I finally started walking toward the starting line. Then, there it was. I hit the start button on my Garmin Forerunner and I was off.

At the 1K mark, a funny thought popped into my head. "What the heck are you doing! Quit now while you still can." That was the old me peeking through. I very quickly put this guy back to bed and went on.

3K and things were starting to spread out a bit. I checked my watch and was a bit surprised at my pace. I felt strong and eager and it was showing. I decided that this was going to be too much. I had a race plan that I knew was a very ambitious one so I dropped my pace back to my plan and went on.

Everything was going very nicely up to the 10K mark. It was here that I started to feel the strain on my hips. I started to concentrate on my form. Keep smooth, don't reach out too far, keep your feet under you, mid-foot landing. I kept going knowing I was going to be feeling more of that. I needed to do something to keep my mind distracted and yet focused.

What I came up with was that I started to run this run like I was running at home. At the 12K mark I'm well on my way on the return trip home. 13K, there goes the old cemetery. Here I am, making the turn onto Zealand Road.

At 14K I have to go to a walk. Just for a minute. My knees are now burning. Got to keep going! Back up to running pace. I check my Garmin and I am still ahead of my plan! I can do this! 5K to go. In my mind's eye I can see the horses running across the field to my right. At this pace, maybe 32 minutes to go.

Less than 2K, my knees and hips have all but locked up. I have to go to a walk. I am almost there. On my run at home I would be climbing the last big hill on my route that I nicknamed Heartbreak Hill. I think of a soldier who gave a pep talk to the crowd at the Army Run dinner the night before. He was an amputee. He had lost one of his legs just below the knee. I can see this young man so clearly in my mind. I could see that he was a bit nervous as he shared his experiences with us. He was going to be running the half marathon. Yes, running. At the end of his short talk he said something like, "So if you get a blister or have a bit of a hurt, just think of me." With everything I had left, I dragged myself back up one more time to running pace.

My pace was slow but I was running. I was going to drive through this and do what I came here to do. That was to crossed that finish line, running!

I had set a target time for myself of 2 hours 30 minutes. As I crossed the finish line, I hit the stop button on my Garmin and saw a time of 2 hours 18 minutes 16 seconds. I felt like I didn't just beat my target, I smashed it! I stumbled down to a walk as I approached a line of solders that were passing out our finishing medals. Dog tags. Now, after finally achieving this goal, now, I thought to myself, I can call myself a Runner.

So that is what the run itself was like for me. At the completion of the run, just after the finish line, I and some other runners were walking toward the line of soldiers presenting the dog tags. I walked up to one soldier who held out this dog tag toward me to put it over my head. I removed my hat and as he placed the chain over my head he said, "Thank you for your support." I was bit overwhelmed by this. Here was this young man, a soldier in our army, thanking me! I went to each one of those fine individuals and shook their hands and thanked them for doing what they do.

I now started walking toward the recovery area. An officer walked up to me. He noticed that I was limping badly and that I was wearing a knee support. He smiled at me and said, "You went through the whole race like that? You look like you are hurting quite a bit." I told him that it was worth it in more ways than one. I then patted him on the shoulder with one hand and shook his hand with the other and thanked him.

Yes, I was hurting, but I was smiling. I had done it and in the process I have helped support the brave men and women of our Armed Forces. Nothing could have made me feel and better. Nothing could have made me feel more proud to be a Canadian right there and then. What a small thing to do for such an amazing group of people. THANK YOU!!

I slowly worked my way through the recovery area and started to head toward the spot Sara and I had picked that we would meet. It was just outside of the recovery area. I saw her there standing on a stone wall, camera in hand and a big smile. We made our way over to a grassy spot where I could spread out the towel she had brought for me and try to stretch out my aching hips and knees.

She look very concerned because of how I was moving. I assured her I was okay and I very slowly lowered myself down onto the towel. I spent a few minutes trying to stretch out my legs as best as I could. I was thinking, now what? I'm a runner. What am I going to do next?

I noticed Sara almost staring at me. She said she was so proud of me and that I was a real inspiration to her. Next year she hopes to be ready to run in the annual 8K Kilt Run in Perth, near our home town.

The fact that she finds what I have been doing inspirational really means a lot to me. I think that is what I want to do. I want to inspire people to reach out and do more, to be better than what they are. To do that is simple really. All you have to do is try. Sometimes it my take a few tries, but just the act of trying will help fill you with a new sense of self-worth. And when you make it to that goal, it will feel so good, you just are going to want more.

I know it can be hard. When I think back to where I was just 3 short years ago. Almost 100 pounds heavier, depressed, struggling with work, struggling just to get through the day so I could go home and hide in front of the TV and just turn my mind off. Now here I am, a green belt in karate, and a runner. Sometimes I just can't believe it.

I had many false starts. Many times I would go out and try to run, only to limp back home thinking, this is pointless. Even when I finally got going on a treadmill at home and started getting rid of some of that weight, I came so close to quitting. Then for some strange reason, I started taking karate and I met a person who has been so inspirational to me. Someone who has fought her own battles. Yet here she was, teaching karate. Thank you Sensei Laurie for being who you are, for inspiring me to reach out and do more, for being my cheering section not just when I succeed but when I just try.

So what about the racing part? Is that it? I have reached my goal so I have done it. Now all I have to do is go out for a run every once in awhile. No, I don't think that will do. I am going to need some time to recover but then I need to get right back into training. It is going to take a lot of training if I am going to run the Army Run again next year and hopefully run a full marathon but I can do this. After all, I am Karateka and a RUNNER.

Wish me luck.

A Rock in the Path (Training for the Army Run)

The day of the Army Run is getting closer. I have been spending all kinds of time training and training hard. I have just completed my first 20K run. When I reached my turnaround point, I was initially jumping for joy, then of course, I realized that I now had to run 10 more kilometers to complete this run. So, off I went.

At the end of the run, I had the feeling that I had just slayed the dragon. Three weeks to go and I now have the proof that I can do this. Three more weeks. Now all I have to do is think about getting stronger.

It took me about 2 hours and 20 minutes to complete this run. That time just disappeared. I spent the first half of my run going through katas in my head. I imagined myself going through each kata move by move, first on my own, then with an opponent. The movements were perfect, liker a dance. Move and countermove, we went through rensuku kumite. The next thing I realized, I was approaching my 10K turnaround point. The return run was same kind of thing. I was lost in thought as the kilometers clicked by.

Completing this 20K run has given me great confidence. I now know I can do this. I don't feel quite so naked. I know I have pushed myself hard to get to this point. My body keeps reminding me of this. When I finished this run, I felt good. I had not pushed too hard, I had no real aches and pains. I was very pleased. I took the next two days off to give my body a chance to recover and then went out for what was supposed to be a gentle 8K run.

I was very surprised to find that after about 6K my legs and hips suddenly started to get quite sore. I decided the best thing to do was to walk the remaining 2K rather than risk injury. Two days later at karate, we were doing something called shrimping. It is a very tough exercise where you move sideways along the floor propelling yourself with nothing more than your shoulders and hips. I find this very tough on the abs. It is an exercise I have always found almost impossible.

Well, this time I was feeling strong and ready to prove to myself that I could do this. I threw myself into it with everything I had. I made it all the way across the floor for the first time and quickly jumped up and headed back into the line for the second run at it. I hit the mat knowing I could do this. Away I went.

I got about halfway across the floor when I got this shooting pain in my right hip. I stopped and the pain stopped. I thought for a second that I had just twisted funny causing a one-time hurt. Away I went again, and again this shooting pain penetrated deep into my hip joint. It felt like I just got stabbed. Sensei saw me drag myself to my feet in pain and she told me that training was over for me tonight.

She was right. Here I was again, injured. But this time, it was different. I was injured but I knew enough to stop (with Sensei's help). Sensei is aware of my upcoming run and she was very concerned that this was going to interfere with the run. I reassured her that it wouldn't and I knew this was the case. But I also knew it would slow my training down again.

So there I was, TWO WEEKS TO GO and not able to train. I found myself quickly getting frustrated and a bit depressed. There always seems to be something that comes along that gets in the way of my progress. I began to think that maybe I was just asking too much of this old, out-of-shape body. Why am I doing this anyway? Why is there always something in my path that blocks my way?

Two more days went by. For the first day, I was limping quite badly. The second day, not so bad. By the end of the day, the limp was gone. I still felt a bit stiff in the hip but not bad. Maybe, just maybe this old body is not so old. Maybe it is not so out of shape. Maybe, I have to stop being so hard on myself.

Two weeks to go as of today. I had booked this week off from work to work on cutting a walking/snowshoeing path around the outer edges of our property. I also thought that this would be a good cross-training exercise. The bush is thick and it would be hard.

I was around a half kilometer into the trail when I came across this big rock sticking out of the ground right where I wanted my path to go. I stood there for a minute, looking at this thing in my path. Here we are again. Another rock in my path. It then kind of clicked. I can do this. A couple of years ago, I would have quit. There was no real other way around. The rock had to go and I would not have been able to do anything about it.

Now, things are different. I got out the shovel and crowbar and went at it. It wasn't insurmountable. After about a half-hour of digging and prying, the rock came loose. I then had to dig a ramp up out of the hole. Then, with a strap around the rock, I slowly worked it back and forth, pulling it up and out of the hole and off to the side of my new path. My way was clear.

I left it right there where I could see it every time I went by. A reminder to me that there are often going to be things in my path, but if I work at it, I can find a way through. Like my training, two steps forward, one step back. Overall, progress is being made. I can do this!